Tuesday 9 August 2016

Of turning 22 and the end of the most painful semester

Well, I'm back again to update!
I've finally gotten over my most painful semester. 
Yesterday was my last paper and though it wasn't an easy parting, I was done. 

Also, Im offically 22 years old! 
Turned 22 last Thursday and well, I spent it just like any day. 
I spent my day in the office, catching up and clearing stuff at work, 
then studying on my way home, only to be so exhausted to the point I couldn't move. 

Honestly speaking, I really wanted to pop open some cans of beer and eat good food but I was exhausted to beyond means and furthermore I had to wake up the next day to study. As for good food, cuz my dad was not at home by the time I got home, my mom just cooked me instant noodles. But hey, I was craving for them so I ain't complaining. 

My parents didn't specifically celebrate this year as well. However, I could tell that they felt really guilty for not being able to get me anything, but seriously, I dont need anything. 
I have a home, two loving, hardworking parents who brought me up till today. What more do I need? 
(Plus my mom already told me since I was young that she was gonna take care of me until I turn 21...but she still makes noise whenever I say I want to travel/go somewhere...hmm) 

So rather then opening a beer and just having fun, I got home, laid in bed and just watched k-pop videos. That was when I realised, I'm really thankful for discovering K-pop. 
I remember really hating and going "k-pop?! PFFFFTTTT" when it first became a boom when I was in Sec 3. Well...look at me now. 7 years later, when most of my friends have given up following k-pop and having fun in the real world, I'm still lying in bed laughing and watching 13 boys whom are all younger then me trying to survive in a village.

But yeah, the exam period really took a toll on me. I was soooo tempted to go and hang out with my friends and just have fun. But I kept these feelings in check and spent my days in the library, trying to remember over 12 weeks of content in a week. (and for what. I couldn't even answer my essay question for my paper yesterday..omfg. My psych paper was alright but the media paper was just....heartbreaking).

However, I officially burned out 2 days before my first paper. I didn't want to eat, I just felt really tired and my body ached everywhere. I also didn't want to leave my bed. I kept thinking that if I just lied there, the world will forget me. Then, my secondary school friend saved me and messaged if I wanted to have lunch. So I did because I knew either way, if it wasn't for my friend, I wouldn't have moved at all that day. So I went to lunch and eventually also went out to watch suicide squad. After that, I felt a tad bit better so I revised about 1-2 chapters before I knocked out until the next morning,

I guess I just felt really tired and exhausted by everything because my body just couldn't keep up with what I really wanted to do. I needed to work, to study but I also wanted to be with my friends so so much. I just wanted to hang out with them before they get caught up and busy with their lives but it wasn't at the right time. Also, I think my last school holiday had to do with this tiredness that I felt. My last holiday was just 2 weeks long and before I knew it, it was back to school to the two most rigid modules I ever taken in uni.Then time passed so fast that assignment month came and exams happened.

Now that I'm done for the semesters, I kinda wanted to go out and have fun, to . However, I realised now my friends are pretty much all busy. Actually, I'm not sure if they are busy, i just think that they have their own lives and I feel like I'm stepping invisible boundaries if I kept asking them out.
So, today after i'm done here at work, though I really wanted to go out and celebrate the end of what was the most painful and hardest semester, I'm probably gonna head home back to my k-pop videos.

Anyways, so thats what's been happening to me~
It's a blog so I can write about myself right? Haha.But yeah I should write more productive things rather then just posts of "hi, i am still allive"

SO! that is why i created a dayre account! A friend of mine uses it and talked to me about it a looooooooongggg time ago and I saw her snapchat like a few weeks ago of her posting on dayre and realised oh yeah, maybe this is the place where I can write posts of "hi i'm still here". 

 So yeah! If you want to know how I feel about life and the occasional "i'm still around"  posts, follow me  at https://dayre.me/mltz94  !

With that, I shall close this post.

Cheers!

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