Of turning 22 and the end of the most painful semester

Well, I'm back again to update!

I've finally gotten over my most painful semester. 

Yesterday was my last paper and though it wasn't an easy parting, I was done. 

Also, Im offically 22 years old! 

Turned 22 last Thursday and well, I spent it just like any day. 

I spent my day in the office, catching up and clearing stuff at work, 

then studying on my way home, only to be so exhausted to the point I couldn't move. 

Honestly speaking, I really wanted to pop open some cans of beer and eat good food but I was exhausted to beyond means and furthermore I had to wake up the next day to study. As for good food, cuz my dad was not at home by the time I got home, my mom just cooked me instant noodles. But hey, I was craving for them so I ain't complaining. 

My parents didn't specifically celebrate this year as well. However, I could tell that they felt really guilty for not being able to get me anything, but seriously, I dont need anything. 

I have a home, two loving, hardworking parents who brought me up till today. What more do I need? 

(Plus my mom already told me since I was young that she was gonna take care of me until I turn 21...but she still makes noise whenever I say I want to travel/go somewhere...hmm) 

So rather then opening a beer and just having fun, I got home, laid in bed and just watched k-pop videos. That was when I realised, I'm really thankful for discovering K-pop. 

I remember really hating and going "k-pop?! PFFFFTTTT" when it first became a boom when I was in Sec 3. Well...look at me now. 7 years later, when most of my friends have given up following k-pop and having fun in the real world, I'm still lying in bed laughing and watching 13 boys whom are all younger then me trying to survive in a village.

But yeah, the exam period really took a toll on me. I was soooo tempted to go and hang out with my friends and just have fun. But I kept these feelings in check and spent my days in the library, trying to remember over 12 weeks of content in a week. (and for what. I couldn't even answer my essay question for my paper yesterday..omfg. My psych paper was alright but the media paper was just....heartbreaking).

However, I officially burned out 2 days before my first paper. I didn't want to eat, I just felt really tired and my body ached everywhere. I also didn't want to leave my bed. I kept thinking that if I just lied there, the world will forget me. Then, my secondary school friend saved me and messaged if I wanted to have lunch. So I did because I knew either way, if it wasn't for my friend, I wouldn't have moved at all that day. So I went to lunch and eventually also went out to watch suicide squad. After that, I felt a tad bit better so I revised about 1-2 chapters before I knocked out until the next morning,

I guess I just felt really tired and exhausted by everything because my body just couldn't keep up with what I really wanted to do. I needed to work, to study but I also wanted to be with my friends so so much. I just wanted to hang out with them before they get caught up and busy with their lives but it wasn't at the right time. Also, I think my last school holiday had to do with this tiredness that I felt. My last holiday was just 2 weeks long and before I knew it, it was back to school to the two most rigid modules I ever taken in uni.Then time passed so fast that assignment month came and exams happened.

Now that I'm done for the semesters, I kinda wanted to go out and have fun, to . However, I realised now my friends are pretty much all busy. Actually, I'm not sure if they are busy, i just think that they have their own lives and I feel like I'm stepping invisible boundaries if I kept asking them out.
So, today after i'm done here at work, though I really wanted to go out and celebrate the end of what was the most painful and hardest semester, I'm probably gonna head home back to my k-pop videos.

Anyways, so thats what's been happening to me~
It's a blog so I can write about myself right? Haha.But yeah I should write more productive things rather then just posts of "hi, i am still allive"

SO! that is why i created a dayre account! A friend of mine uses it and talked to me about it a looooooooongggg time ago and I saw her snapchat like a few weeks ago of her posting on dayre and realised oh yeah, maybe this is the place where I can write posts of "hi i'm still here". 

 So yeah! If you want to know how I feel about life and the occasional "i'm still around"  posts, follow me  at https://dayre.me/mltz94  !

With that, I shall close this post.

Cheers!

MOVIE RAMBLE TIME!! -Just my take on the movies I watched

As compared to other years, this year seemed to be the epitome of blockbuster movies.

Its only July and I've been to the theaters 4 times already in the past 2 months. And its pretty rare for me considering that I only go to the theaters once a year to watch that 1 film everyone talks about or to catch the occasional japanese films that comes out in Singapore. I used to be an avid fan of going to the theatres cuz of my parents, however in the recent years, as I got busier then my parents, I only made time to watch about 1-2 films that really caught my attention and got me to watch the film.

So! Because my blog seems to be depressing and has had no substantial posts in the last few months, I felt the need to work on this one post that covered all the movies I've watched this year.

So, let me list down the films I went to watch this year so far:

Captain America: Civil War 

Triple Nine

Independence Day 2

Ghostbusters

Star trek Beyond

Suicide Squad 

That's a lot ain't it, considering that I had to study and work and barely had time for myself.
One thing similar across all these movies was that, they caught my attention through the trailers that was on TV and YouTube. Furthermore, noticable actors were in the film that made me tempted to watch (except for triple nine, but more on how I stumbled upon this film later).However, trailers aren't everything and a movie can only be judged after we watch it. Let's get started on how I felt about the movies I watched!

Captain America:Civil War 

Honestly, I can't remember how I felt about this movie.

I mean, I remember being quite happy about the abundant action scenes it had and the twists and turns in the plot of whose evil or is the 'bad guy' and also that the focus wasn't just on Captain america. It was sort of like a mini avengers film, but them falling out. But other then that I can't remember what I honestly felt about the film. So lets move on to the rest...

Triple Nine

Triple 9 was a film I stumbled upon accidentally. Me and my friend had a rough day at school (our soul left us as we did a presentation for the first time in a long time and lets just say it didn't go so well). So, we decided, lets watch a film. During the time we wanted to watch a film, there was nothing at all. Deadpool was long over and the only "notable" film was kungfu panda and I wasn't gonna pay $8 to watch kungfu panda, but honestly I thought we had no other choice until we saw the poster for Triple nine. With no expectations, we went to catch triple nine and honestly, it wasnt too bad.

As I took this module called "Screen text" whereby we had to analyze films during the time we watch this movie, I felt that thanks to the things I learnt in that module, I got to enjoy this film a lot.
The plot was what we may deem as a 'puzzle plot' and there seems to be no distinct start nor end.

There wasn't much action as I thought it would have (yes, even though the poster looks like the film may mirror a gameplay of counterstrike) however, there was a lot was a lot of unexpected scenes/turnarounds in this film. Also, interestingly, the head of the mafia gang was a woman (played by kate winslet whom I thought portrayed her russian mafia head role quite well). This film had all the good points that my 'screen text' class taught, and maybe that was why I enjoyed it though it was a bit slow. It was definitely a better choice then kungfu panda. I would recommend people this movie especially if you like creative plots.

Independence Day 2 

From this movie, Independence day 2 onwards, I watched it in the past month or so, my opinions on the films is pretty much still fresh in my mind. Independence Day 2.

Ohhh,Guys. I was really excited for this film because I was a fan of Independence Day 1 (which not many people are). The trailer was short and sweet but all I got was that there was gonna be lots of actions. However, before watching the film, my friend warned me that many people were disappointed cuz it did not meet their expectations, so I went to watch the film with none and boyyyy was i glad I had no expectations (in a good way).

The way the film started was probably my most favorite scene in this film. That feeling of being sucked into and looking from the point of view of the alien was pretty cool. The movie brought back the old cast, except for will smith and it sort of brought back the old memories of ID 1. However, for this film, if you never watched ID 1, forgot how it went or worse still, mixed it up with the film 'Armageddon', you will most likely catch no balls.

The film picks off in the current times when earth has been peaceful for many years.  If I remember correctly, the movie was set in '2016' however the setting of the film taking place in '2016' was honestly not too realistic. But that is okay, considering that it is a sci-fi movie i'll let it slide. The plot however, stayed true to ID 1. It was very verryyy similar. I expected that jump scare when the president sacrficed himself to get the alien to talk, cuz they did that exact same scene in ID 1.

Overall, the action was good, the graphic was awesome  and i honestly enjoyed it. It was just irritating and annoying that the bloody alien just couldn't die easily at the end, but nothing's ever easy right. There was also a scene I wasn't really too keen on and it was the scene where they included Singapore's very own Marina Bay Sands. The scene started off with a guy in a taxi, listening to some chinese music, with a chinese takeaway box hanging in the taxi. Then bam, you can see people running away for their lives with MBS being destroyed along with buildings with very chinese signs.
Please hollywood, singapore is singapore. We have more races then chinese just living here and we definitely do not have signs in chinese everywhere. We also definitely do not have takeaway boxes that look like that here. Our takeaway boxes are styrofoam boxes. Other then this particular scene that made me a little pissed at the film, I would say its worth a check if you like a film with just loads of actions and graphics with little focus in the plot.

Ghostbusters

Yes. Another film revived from the olden days. Ghostbusters was a film I liked growing up (It came out when I was very young but it was frequently on repeat on channel 5 as I was growing up). So when I heard "Who you gonna call", I was definitely calling my parents to watch this film! (ok lame joke. moving on). Just from the trailer, you sort of know the plot. Storyline that is like the first ghostbusters film from the old days just replaced with females (Girl-busters! ok im done joking). So I had that mentality when I went in and it was exactly like that. The old sarcastic american jokes were in there, graphics of the ghosts were better, heck the old cast of Ghostbusters appeared too! Now I appreciate that this film was cool and refreshing cuz women were not portrayed as the damsel in distress as per usual in many other films, but I don't know, some scenes still featured 'stereotypes' people had on women, however I feel that this movie could be one to pave way for more future films that features a different role and side of women. However, its not a film that I'l go around saying "Dude you so need to watch it", it was more of a "do you like jokes? if yes then you'll enjoy this" or like if you are a fan of the old ghostbusters then yeah check it out.

Star Trek Beyond

I became a fan of star trek after their first film in '09.That first movie really blew my mind with the action, graphics and the story of exploring space and beyond. Thanks to the movie, I got into watching the drama when it was on TV and I fell in love with the characters of Star trek (espcially spock. heh).

So just like the other films, when I heard that Star Trek Beyond (the 3rd movie of the franchise) was coming out, I HAD TO WATCH IT. Within the second week of its opening, I rushed to watch it and boyyyyy was it so good. It could be because its part of celebrating the 50th year of Star Trek, but either way I loved it. I went in with expectations and left with the movie exceeding it (as usual).

No, its not cuz I'm biased to the film cuz Im a trekkie, but honestly, the graphic and action in this film really kept it on the edge of my seat and the storyline was different from past Star Trek Movies. Its storyline focused more on the humane side of the crew of the enterprise that drifted amongst space to explore the unknown. Now before I go on, I would just like to say it was sad for me to see anton yelchin in the film. He wasn't the most obvious character in the movie franchise, but his character was one that popped out every now and then and anton yelchin as an actor was really good as well and one could see he had more to show. So, just a little note of 'rest in peace' Anton yelchin and your act in star trek would not be forgotten.

Going back to talking about the film, it starts off with captain kirk, being uncertain of the road he chose to be captain of enterprise, being frequently lost,captured, hurt, which is understandable cuz I'm mean bro, if u are the captain of the enterprise, won't you feel the same? Anyways moving on. The usual quirk was in the film but the graphics, whooo, you can feel that this film definitely DID NOT scrimp on the budget (could be why there were so many film companies featured before the film started).

The trailer did not do justice to the film. I was constantly on the edge with this film and my heart died a little when the enterprise went down crashing into the planet. This is a film that I'd I go around saying "Dude you need to watch this whether you are a trekkie or not". And indeed, I watched this film with 2 friends who never heard of Star trek and they came out, wanting to go home to watch the 1st and 2nd star trek films.

Honestly, I'd choose star trek over star wars any day. (sorry to all the jedi fans).

Suicide Squad 

Now before I talk about this film, I just want to say a few things.

 #1 I'm not particularly a DC comic movie fan. I love their comics but not the films because they are always serious, dark and there's more talk then action. (I think by now, you'll realise I love action-heavy movies). So, films like batman, superman, dc films that many people say was 'kickass' and 'awesome', i tend to say otherwise. Suicide squad was actually the first film whereby its by DC and I really really wanted to watch it.

#2 One thing I learnt from the hype I created within myself to watch suicide squad it that one would enjoy a film more it they did not have expectations from it that was built from the trailers on the movie. I'm a type of person that relies HEAVILY on trailers. I'm not the kind that reads professional reviews and researches in depth before choosing what films to watch. Because honestly, why rely on others? Just watch the film yourself cuz we all have different tastes and opinions. Also, WHERE GOT TIME AIYOOO (releasing my inner singlish).  So anyways, after watching the trailer and finding out that Jared Leto was friggin playing The Joker, I told myself, thats it. I.Had.To. Watch.This. I needed to watch jared friggin leto being the joker, cuz guys, come on. Why would you miss out on that? To me I thought, Jared was a good method actor. He always put himself in the shoes of the character and if you watched his films, you don't see a hint of him but very distinct characters fit for the movie. However, there are some articles that Jared took "method acting" too far in this film, but I don't know, I thought he portrayed Joker well in this film (though heath ledger is still my fave joker until today).

So anyways back to the film. I have an exam in 2 days yet I couldn't wait to watch the film, so I did. After randomly initating a conversation with my friend, we went to watch suicide squad and boy was I not satisfied. Now before I continue writing my thoughts, I just want to say that if you havent watched it, then stop reading, cuz it could be a spoiler, but if you don't mind then feel free to read on.

Suicide squad is a good example of 'trailer bringing your expectations too high up'. I went in expecting some actions, cool battle scenes and turmoil with the joker. When in reality, the movie was based on a whole different villain that appeared only 2 seconds in the trailer and I thought was part of the crew. But I mean, I can also view this in a good way, cuz its a turn from the usual 'trailer explains to you the whole movie', but I kind of went in expecting a huge battle scene with the joker and not some witchcraft with the beam shooting into the sky scene (is it just me or is this kind of scene becoming to repetitive in films these days when the villian says 'i want to destroy earth').

My honest thoughts in this film was that it needed to clean up its script more and plot as well. I know that this film probably wanted to show everything about sucide squad. The character's story, the build up of the storyline, the climax and the finish but probably because of time constraints as well as how they have many characters, I felt that the plot was too rush. They tried to squeeze every magic, booms and bams in a short amount of time that at some point i was like "what?". Like everything was all over the place. The editing of the film could do a bit more working and tweaking as well.
Now, I thought that I was the only one that felt this way because my friends who watched it before me said 'it was awesome'. So I took to youtube to see how people reviewed this movie and yes. Someone said it. The editing was choppy. Another thing, one youtuber highlighted was that, the movie didn't feel complete because there were probably a lot of deleted scenes. So I decided, I will not say this film was terrible or bad until I watch the whole film without the deleted scenes. And I hope, the full film at least would make me go "yeah I guess its not bad".

HOWEVER, the film was not all that bad. The music used for this film was in check. It really matched the atmosphere and mood of the film. From the use of Queen's bohemian rhapsody to Eminem's without me, the music spoke for the scenes. So I guess that was the highlight for me.

But hey don't take my word for these films. As I said, films are to be judged by your own eyes and feelings. We all are unique in terms of opinions and we gravitate towards different kind of film genre and what we see in films.

Anyways, half a year has passed, but more films are coming out like FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM!!! I can't wait for that film cuz I'm a huge fan of the harry potter series too. (The books especially, if i talked about the films, it would take years for me to finish). There's also inferno coming out!

So, this post is just entirely my takeaway from the films I've watched so far this year and because it is just my opinon and 'how i feel about it' it may not be your usual proper review. But hey, if you enjoyed it then YAY, but if not, I'll work to write better and more structured views and opinions on films.

With that,
Cheers!

Complex.

Credit: As stated in picture 

I work myself again today. 
Push myself through the boundaries i believe that will make me a better person 
Friends and family let me know i'm not alone. 
Words of support. Words of help. Words that get me through this hell. 
It goes through my left and out through my right 
As I struggle to keep my ideas alive at night. 

Isn't it weird I write the best after midnight 
When everyone's asleep exhausted by the day's fight
I keep myself awake with this coffee I make
Try to pull myself through tonight and hope I get some sleep at least till nine. 

Pushing and Pushing till I achieve the right words.
Writing and erasing until I achieve what I call perfection 
The essays and exams wont write itself 
and i sure as well can bullshit well but these days not matter how many days I give myself, 
I still can't write the words of satisfaction that can fill myself 

Breathe in and out 
This poisonous smoke that smells
This poison of a stick that maybe resembles hell
Killing my lungs but at least it helps me out 
Getting my thoughts sorted
Getting me to think of words that at least attains a score
Why judge me on grades that i get from this hell 
Can't you just judge for who I am and what i can do well? 

Writing Letters

My collection of letters
From the first letter I ever gotten from my grandparents to the most recent one from my friend overseas

Hello World! 

Well, just wanted to write in after I sat through one commercial I saw on TV that seemed really stupid but actually got me thinking.

It was an ad I assume to get people to write letters to xia xue and dash? Because I wasn't really paying attention to the content and happened to just hear bits and pieces of what it was saying, I cant really judge the ad.

However, a point I got from the video was that people now can just send an sms or whatsapp to connet with their friends and most people dont write letters anymore.

This point I agree. If I were to compare the times of my parents and our time, things definitely changed. Our world have became smaller and connected. Gone are the days of "snail mail", now is the era of instant reply. Heck now, we get a bit irritated when our friends don't reply within 5-10 minutes of our message. If we look back to the past era, we would have to wait at least 1 week to get us..so actually waiting 5 to 10 minutes is not that bad

Anyways point is, where did all the letter writing go? Personally I love recieving letters and I write a few letters in a year. Its the best way to surprise people plus you feel a person's sincerity through letters.

When I was in secondary school, my friends and I we made a point to write a letter to each other once a week and it was really fun! Because we were in different classes we just wrote what we did and what happened in our class. Since she was a really good artist, she would actually decorate the paper around her letter and it was really cool. This feeling cant be felt through phones honestly.

Yes typing a message an email is efficient but it makes a bigger impact if you send a letter on a person's birthday then a simple message that says 'happy birthday' right?

I feel that people should know more about that feeling of recieving and writing letters.

The letter I wrote to myself...That I finally opened 2 months back

Something I did with letters was I wrote to myself. Yes you may think I'm some lonely lil shit but when I was 16 I wrote a letter to my 21 year old self. And yes. I was embarrased as hell when I opened it this year. But I felt a bit emotional because it made me look back to those days when I was 16. (It could also be because I opened it at a time when I was really stressed out and just wanted to give up) 

But I realised that writing a letter to myself re-secured my goals. The 16 year old me struggled with her studies and was just insecure about anything. She was just content if she passed that damn N and eventually O levels. But..5 years down the road. This insecure 16 year old, passed both her N and O (not with flying colors for O, but still passed), graduated from poly with confidence and came out a little bit from her introverted shell. This insecure 16 year old got to actually travel overseas with her friends to the place she loved. The letter to myself actually made me realised that I actually am not a failure and was actually able to accomplish so much things!

So you see writing letters dosent mean you need to write to someone else. You can always just write to yourself. To actually get you to reflect about your past (and also boost your self-esteem).

So why not try by writing a letter to yourself. It may seem ridiculous but by the time you forget about it and a time for you to open it comes, it dosent seem ridiculous at all ;)

With that..I shall go back to researching on my paper (urgh),

Cheers!

You don't live to please others but yourself.

I went through a few things recently that made me realise two things.

I am the best when I am alone and I love my life right now.

Yes I still complain about how shitty school is and how having to balance work and school is not giving me a social life but...I really like it.

Working and schooling keeps me busy and tired, but you can only do this when you are young right? Plus I love my workplace too much to quit. As for school, its a stupid decision I made but I should still see it through right? And I am actually starting to enjoy my Psych classes and getting a tad bit annoyed at my media classes haha.

Being busy also means that I won't do stupid things (like trying out a date app and try to meet guys which I realised is really really reaaaally not my kind of thing.)

Another thing I realised while I was being so busy was that...I have no time for shit like relationships and I wondered..why have I always been seeking to be in one when being single is so good! (Maybe in secondary it would've been nice, but secondary school days are longggg over and  I'm over and done with it now.  Dueling in the past wont get me anywhere.)

Being single means you don't have to think about another person, worry whether to reply or not to reply and just basically live your life the way you want! I guess as many say, such a time will come when you meet the right person but I realised now is not the time for me to settle the shit down.

I want to travel. I want to work. I want to get over studying and THEN get married to my work.

I have no idea why I didn't see this until now. Being alone and independent is so awesome. (well that is unless a japanese guy comes and sweep me off my feet haha)

So yeah, life is awesome now for me. I am surrounded by people I love, what more do I need? I was a fool in the past. But now I am striving to live everyday with this new thought of mine.

You don't live to please others but yourself.

Cheers!

It's already june! Left another 6 more months for 2015

Things that brightens my day: Beer

Half a year is gone! It's already june (O_O) Half a year of 2015 is gone guys! How fast does time past. It feels like just yesterday I was having fun with my friends in the land of takoyaki and sushi. But noooo. now I'm in the new phase of schooling and one of my friend who went on the trip with me is now in army.

So yes, as mentioned above, I have started a new phase of school (unwillingly and stupidly...I should've taken a break till september).
Everything passed by so fast and I've already finished week 4 our of the 12 weeks of the term and I'm swamped with assignments (then why am I still here blogging right...well..I get distracted).

I am still not over my trip to Japan after even so long (and so are my friends). I really really feel like quitting school and just live in Japan but I can't cuz my mother would whack me.

The whole experience in Japan, I felt really changed me. Somewhere somehow I kind of found myself, like what I aspire to do and how I should see myself. Most importantly I reasoned  out with myself that being alone is not a bad thing. It's actually better if I want to achieve my dreams.

Yes, I still have a dream of working in a Japanese broadcasting station but if I really can't then at least at an advertising agency in Japan. Whether its internship or a work-stint, I really want to achieve that dream. I know it will be hard work but I feel that the experience will be really important to me.

Still on the topic of japan, I'm recently really into Kanjani 8 and it makes me want to really go back to Osaka and sing 'Takoyaki in my heart'. I am really sad that I didn't have enough time to explore osaka because it is such a nice city! The next time I go Japan, I'm definitely spending mroe time at Osaka and Kyoto. However, the next time I go to japan will most likely be for Yokohama again because me and my mom need to work on some documentations that apparently can't be settled from here. What is life right. At this time and age, there are documentations that can't be settled from here. But I guess that's how important they take the whole process.

Speaking of Japan, there was a big earthquake off Ogasawara Islands and it was 8.5 magnitude. It affected the  Kanagawa area and I really hope everyone was okay. (Cuz most of my relatives stay in that prefecture). My mom told me that my mom's boss felt the tremor as well and he was over at Tokyo.  My mom always tells me of her experiences with earthquake each time the news reports it and it made me think that we are really lucky that we don't experience earthquakes.

Tickets to Takizawa Kabuki!! 

Another news at hand here, I bought tickets for Takizawa Kabuki!! Sadly I don't have friends whom are into the same kind of japanese stuff as me so I asked my bestest friend in the world. My mom. Lolz.
I persuaded my mom to go with me and she agreed if I paid, so...I'm going to see my first kabuki! Honestly I am not into the tradtional kabuki thing but when I researched on Takizawa kabuki that has been going on for quite a while in japan, it seemed interesting and unlike the traditional kabuki. So hopefully I'll enjoy it!

What else have I been doing apart from school and dreaming about japan, well I went to vixx's concert! Yes they came to singapore and performed on the 29th. The sound system at max pavilion sucked as usual and did no mercy to ken and leo's voice. However the boys were really humble and gave a lot of fan-service. It was a nice concert and I constantly shrieked like a girl when leo, ravi or hongbin came into the screen. When you are a fangirl for a group, no matter how old you are, you will shriek.
 
However, I was really unhappy about something. There were this group of girls  seated in the row in front of me that kept standing. I mean you're excited i understand but think of the people behind you who paid as much amount as you to see their idols. I wanted to kick the girl's chair but I restrained myself because we must be nice to other fans or so I believe. They eventually settled down because i think someone pointed them out and they were forced to sit. However, after that this one girl kept taking a video of the group and blocked my view. If she took a good video then I wouldn't say anything but honestly I have no idea what she was taking.She zoomed in so much and the phone kept shaking. At that point I really wanted to whack her but then i stopped myself and just decided to focus on the concert. At the near end when everyone dashed up front to get a clearer view of vixx (yes it happned), i was glad cuz the whole group left their seats as well and I got a super clear view of the stage.


It was fun to attend a concert and I really enjoyed myself. Oh my gosh. I feel that the lack of writing articles and working on media stuff is make my writing style worse. I feel ashamed with this post and feel I can do better but my mind is not there at all because I am rushing my statistic assessment.
I apologize for such a boring post and hope the pictures make up for this post haha. I'll try to write a better post soon!!

Cheers!

Adding a picture of my graduation picture to close off.
I look terrible because I am never photogenic in these kinds
of shot. Try getting you picture taken on a stage where you are worrying that
you won't trip and fall over the stage or something.
Also, I swear the person who photoshopped this picture was high. My hair
looks like a pumpkin...my life. #ForeverUnglam

Then and Now

I was on the train the other day to Tanjong Pagar when I just glanced out the window on the way to Clementi. 

There was a temple with a huge Buddha statue and behind that was the holding school that I used to attend when my primary school was under construction. Or should I say it used to be behind the temple. 

When I passed by that day, behind the temple stood two tall buildings of what looked like a HDB. I tried to see if the holding school was still there or was torn down but the train kept moving and I couldn’t see it.

As I passed it, I suddenly thought to myself how much time has passed and how much Singapore changed. Just 11 years ago when I studied there, I could still see the train passing by from the open field in that school when I had PE.

Looking back at Singapore as a whole, I realised Singapore changed so much. 

Where gardens by the bay stands today used to be a park where my parents brought me to cycle on the weekends when I was 7. There wasn’t an ION mall when I was 10 and big splash at East Coast still boasted its slide whenever I passed it. (Though I remember it being closed whenever I went past it.)Heck, Queensway’s cinema was still there whenever I passed by it and I remember when I was very young, it had a billboard painted and left outside though there wasn’t any movie playing inside.

But as Singapore evolves into a globalized city, it would mean that we need to “upgrade” our city as well and the places that are forgotten would be taken down one by one. 

However, little do we know that these places that are forgotten still holds memory to some of us and only when the media reports that it is going to be taken down or demolished do we realise ‘oh…’. We always assume something would be there, however when we try to revisit it 5 years down the road we realise a huge brand new building has replaced the one that held you memories

It isn’t just buildings. Our transportation has also evolved a lot in just a mere 13 years. When I was in Primary 1, there was only 2 lines Red and Green. But now, we have Red, Green, Purple, Yellow and Dark Blue. (I go by colors because I can’t seem to remember their read names…as you can tell I’m not good with directions)

Though we moan and groan about the speed of the train or how the buses isn't coming when you are rushing for a meeting, take a step back and compare it to the past. 

Our buses has also became so efficient! With the ez link card and buses coming every 15 minutes or so, it has changed so much to keep up with the fast-paced life we lead. (we don't even have to push the button nor figure out how much we need to pay to go to a certain place cuz the machine counts it for us now) 

Do you remember this? Do you remember what it used to do?
Took this one day when I was on the bus. Gotta take it before it disappears!

 

Photo Credit: Google Images

I don’t know if it is just me but I felt that in the past, time seemed to go slower. Now, it feels like time goes to fast that you’d think “shit. Did 24 hours just passed?”

I’m not sure if it is because I’m now all grown up and my life revolves around deadlines, deadlines and more deadlines. But it seemed like the sun stayed out long enough for me to enjoy myself.

But one thing is for sure. Change is needed as people are evolving now and the society around us is always improving. I am definitely one that supports having these changes around but its just a bit hard to believe how fast things are changing.

It kinds of scares me at times but I still look forward to see how much our country will change in the next 10 years. Not only our country but the world as well.

Maybe in my next post, I should talk about the habits and things that changed over the 10 years or so.

Till then, how about re-visiting that place you grew up at or a place you used to hang out after school (whether primary or secondary) and see if it is still there.

Cheers. 

The Moon

Looking for that someone that could be miles away. 
In a distance, someone calls. Is it for me? Perhaps not. 
Silent as the wind that blows, my hands swiftly moves. 
Leaving selfish thoughts on unwanted paper. 
Whispering to the light that shines through my windows. 
" Let me learn to be alone. Let me learn how to shut the voice in my hearts. The wants. The addiction. The sadness. The sorrow. Teach me to store it away"

Scripts are strewn all over. An actor lies on the floor. 
Cigarette in one hand, the other through his hair. 
He asks himself did he choose the right path. 
Where was the spirit he used to have? Are they gone now? 
What's his purpose other then performing for others?
 Walking to his window, he looks out. 
Whispering to the moon. 
"Help me find the road that gives me strength so that I can stand once again"

Broken glasses smashed against the wall a cry is heard. 
A girl leans against the wall. Tears running down her eyes. 
She picks up a shattered glass without a thought and brings it to her wrist. 
What's life.  Whats her purpose in this story called life. 
Invisible to others and unheard by many. 
Her life was in a darkness. 
She follows the trail of light shining through her window. 
Her eyes is led up to face the shining moon and she begs. 
"Save me. Save me from despair. Let me see the light in my world of darkness. Save me"

A moan is heard from the sheets as darkness falls upon two people.
 Lust. Love. Addiction. These 3 words filled the room. 
As one person lays after whats done, the other has his eyes wide open. 
Am I doing something wrong? 
But he couldn't live without the man beside him. 
He sighs and turns his body towards the window. The moon greeted him. 
"Let me be free to love who I want. Let me love the one who loves me the most & makes me one"

The moon is a being. 
A being many unconsciously speaks to. 
Only time will tell if it understand the many tales it is being told.