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| Photo by Tong Nguyen van on Unsplash |
Hey 12 year old me.
I recently found some writings you wrote cuz ohh how much did you love to write in journal books
and the many sentences you wrote was ' I can't wait to be an adult'.
Oh 12 year old me, how sometimes I wish (and yet do I not wish) I was back at your age.
In summary, you wanted to just get past the studying and just live her own life.
What 12 year old me imagined adulthood will be:
1. Being able to stay out the house past 5pm
2. Living a good life without her parents nagging and live away from them
3. Living THE life of freedom with nothing being tied to her
4. Get that life of drinking, smoking and a few tattoos like the role models she looked up to (lol you'd wonder what kind of role models did i have don't you)
5. You have someone that loves you *cough* an emo boyfriend *cough*
6. And finally...just no more exams, comparison of results with other kids and not having to think about dying to run away from the pressure of being an only child.
Sad to say, 12 year old me may be disappointed on what she will find.
To 1. Yes, I have the freedom of staying out till 1am (or more like 4am), but it gets very tiring after a while at this age. In all honesty, you would just want to sleep and gosh did you get to sleep a lot when you were 12. That's why you never made it to the express stream (not that it was a bad thing, cuz i've learnt that somethings in life happen for a reason and being in Acad, was probably the best choice for me and that 5years of secondary was an eye opener.
To 2. Parents have stopped nagging but they ask you adult question now like 'can you call the bank to waive my credit card annual fee' and 'did you pay the monthly bills' and you still live with them though cuz no house alone till your 35 unless your married (thanks law). But their a tad bit better now. Just don't talk much about life with dad cuz then its world war 3 (much wowz right? cuz when you were 12, the mom was causing world war 3. Yeah. its a never ending war when your parents grow old and they get this thing called menopause)
To 3.Technically, you have 'freedom'. You have the freedom to stay up past your bedtime, freedom to go out. But you realise that you get lonely quite a fair bit. You having freedom dosen't mean your friends are free and spending time with your family drives you nuts. Plus, you are gonna have responsibilities. You are going to be tied up to monthly bills and up till a week ago, a job. And a job ties you to a chair 24/7 (literally). And as much as you have the freedom, you just really want rest.
To 4. Yes, you finally get to drink and smoke and gosh are beers the bomb. Whiskey and wine not really but maybe 30 years old you will appreciate it. But, really you start to feel the detrimental effects when you actually decide to excercise (yea, fat 25 you have given up on that..like pfft. whats excercise-is that something you can eat? Are you shocked you sports loving freak that you turned out this way?). Plus cigarettes are addictive, you may have inhaled a little too much of this bad substance and having it cut out your life is really hard...but we'll get there i'm sure
To 5. Who are you kidding. your crushes never worked out. your first love never worked out too. You did try don't get me wrong, but they just got rejected. crushed. ka-put. You have been single since forever and you are now trying to come to terms that you have to walk the rest of your life on your own. But its really not a bad thing. You get a lot of that freedom you wanted so much. Yeah you get jealous when you see your friends sometimes when they talk and when you read romance books but hey, you're getting past that now and you'll be numb by the time your 30.
To 6. You officially stop taking exams at the age of 23. (yay) But having only been studying for more than 20 years. You will be lost. Thrown into the corporate world, you will be caught off guard. You will start to question what have you studied for (just to complete and adhere to the system the people created I guess). You learn that you want to get into a certain industry and you do! (yay x2) but this industry has a steep learning curve and just sucks your soul and chews you out when your done and dusted. Did I mention that people are cruel when they have power?
So many cons, you say. Was there ever a pro of growing up?
Well yes..you should be happy you lived and didn't tighten that cloth around your neck more then you should have that one night.
Over the years you meet the greatest people, people whom changed your life and opened you up when you are 18. And these people are still standing by you and are the supporters of your choices. When you get out to the corporate world, you will meet even more people like you, who gets you through the toughest shit you can imagine and they too become your life's greatest supporter.
(Plus there's these things called YouTube, Netflix and Spotify, their life changing)
Yes you may be alone, yes you still face the demons within you like you did when you were 12, but now, you have people with you to face certain things and to talk to.
You were never alone.
So yea, I guess being an adult is okay.
You just have to sort out what to do next kid.
Regards,
The adult you whose still a kid at heart cuz you will never be grown up enough.
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| Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash |
